Only In Dreams
by unfinishe
Summary: A collection of crack oneshots that we would only see in our dreams. NOW UP: HoneyBreeze
1. That: BrackenSquirrel

**Only In Dreams**

**A/N: Okay, I'm gonna tell you right now: IF YOU DON'T LIKE CRACK, DON'T READ THIS STORY. I'm only writing crack. End of story. Also, tell me if I'm wrong, but Brackenfur DOES have green eyes, right?**

**Chapter 1: That**

BrackenSquirrel (Brackenflight, Squirrelfur)

Two ginger pelts slipped out of camp, brushing against each other as they slipped through the thorn tunnel. Well, one was quite as ginger as it was golden brown.

"Careful Squirrelflight," Brackenfur murmured, his green eyes worried.

Squirrelflight rolled her eyes. "I'm not sick Brackenfur, I'm pregnant."

Brackenfur rolled his eyes now. "So? You need to be careful. You're carrying precious cargo."

Squirrelflight purred with amusement. "You worry too much," she said, licking his cheek. "I'm fine. Now, are you going to lead the way, or is this patrol going nowhere?"

Brackenfur licked her shoulder, chuckling. "Come on, let's get going." Then he turned and, walking with Squirrelflight at his shoulder, he pushed through the undergrowth and headed toward the WindClan border.

They padded through the undergrowth side by side in silence for a while, but it was Squirrelflight who finally broke the silence, her voice quiet for once.

"Have you told Sorreltail yet?" she asked quietly. She stared down at her paws.

"Have you told Brambleclaw yet?" Brackenfur shot back.

The two stopped walking, turning to face each other.

Squirrelflight stared into his eyes. "No," she said finally, her voice muted and her eyes clouded with anxiety. "You don't think he suspects anything?"

"No," Brackenfur said. "He wouldn't be sending us on all these patrols together if he did."

"I know," Squirrelflight said, looking down.

"And you aren't mad at me?" he asked, taking a step closer.

Squirrelflight looked up. "Why would I be?" she asked, blinking in surprise.

Brackenfur stared at her, obviously willing her to understand. "About… Sorreltail. She's… she's having my kits."

"Oh. That."

"Yeah. That."

Silence reigned for a few moments before Squirrelflight spoke. "I'm not mad. You loved her." She looked up and gave his cheek a lick. "I don't care who you used to love, because I have you _now_."

Brackenfur chuckled. "Yes, you do."

**A/N: I know it was kind of short, but it was okay, right? You liked it? Review with your thoughts and any ideas you have for me! Also, I'm taking requests!**

**Off to take over the world,**

**Crazy Girl**

**P.S.**

**I'm mostly writing this for the readers of COL (Circle of Life: Book 1: Beginnings). Sorry for losing my flash drive guys!**


	2. Hunting: ThornPoppy

**Only In Dreams**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Something's wrong with my account, so I'm not receiving reviews for my stories… -- Thanks anyways guys! Anyway, here's the next one. This one's based a moment in Outcast (during the whole Ashfur-Lionpaw fight thing), when Thornclaw puts his tail on Poppypaw's shoulder. That gave me the idea. –shrugs-- Review!**

**Oh, btw: Most of these are established relationships, and for those of you who don't know what that means, it means that the two characters are already together.**

**Plus, forgot the disclaimer, so…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, or pretend to own Warriors.**

**Chapter 2: Hunting**

**ThornPoppy (Thornpaw, Poppyclaw)**

"Good work Poppypaw!"

Poppypaw looked up, her eyes sparkling. "Thanks Thornclaw," she murmured. She had just caught a vole, and it had been a tough catch. "But it's nothing really. Just a vole…"

"Every bit of prey helps," Thornclaw told her seriously. He walked up to her and smiled. Poppypaw smiled back.

"If you two lovebirds are done…" Brackenfur walked up, Hollypaw at his side. The black apprentice chuckled.

"We aren't—" Thornclaw started to say, but Poppypaw cut him off.

"Maybe we should split up," she said. "That way we can cover more ground and catch more prey."

"Good idea," Brackenfur said. "Poppypaw and I—"

Thornclaw interrupted. "Maybe _I_ should take Poppypaw. So I can assess her. You know."

Brackenfur smirked. "All right then," he said. "Hollypaw, you come with me."

"Okay Brackenfur!" Hollypaw said happily. She shot a meaningful glance at Poppypaw, who blushed, and then she and Brackenfur disappeared into the undergrowth.

Poppypaw sighed with relief. Good, they were finally gone, and she was alone with… She glanced up at her mentor. "So…"

Thornclaw looked down. "So…"

Poppypaw grinned. "You always know exactly what to say Thornclaw," she said, smiling.

Thornclaw rolled his eyes. "At least they're gone."

Poppypaw nodded. "Can't they just leave us alone for once?"

Thornclaw fidgeted a little. "We're alone _now_…"

Poppypaw blinked. "Thornclaw…"

"Yeah?"

"You're insane." She smiled.

Thornclaw smiled back, and gave her a lick on the head. "Come on. We might as well catch _some_ prey…"

**A/N: Too short? How was it? Review! Next up is JayIce!**

**Off to take over the world,**

**Crazy Girl**


	3. Tickle Fight: JayIce

**Only In Dreams**

**A/N: I just want to say thank you to strawberry.sparkle for pointing out that Poppypaw and Thornclaw are related, Poppypaw being the daughter of Brackenfur (Thornclaw's brother). Anyway, here's the next one!**

**Btw: BEWARE! THIS ONE IS FLUFFY! Lots of fluff, trust me.**

**Chapter 3: Tickle Fight**

**JayIce (Jaypaw, Icepaw LOL)**

"Ow!"

Icepaw glared at Jaypaw. "That hurt!"

"It wouldn't hurt so much if you would _sit still_," Jaypaw retorted angrily.

"Why are you so mean?" Icepaw asked, but there was a teasing light in her eyes.

Nearby, Leafpool said, "If you two have nothing better to do, then Jaypaw can come with me to collect some more marigold. We're running low."

"Sorry Leafpool!" Icepaw chirped. She shot a meaningful glance at Jaypaw, who sighed as if he could sense her eyes on him.

"Sorry Leafpool," the dark gray tom said, rolling his jay feather blue eyes.

Leafpool sighed. "I'll be back in a little while," she said. "Jaypaw, you can handle things here, right?"

"Of course I can!" Jaypaw snapped.

Icepaw gave him a cuff around the ear as Leafpool left. "You're supposed to be respectful of your mentor."

Jaypaw hissed. "Care to remind me _how_ you got this thorn in your pad?" Icepaw blushed.

As if that had reminded her, the white she-cat looked down at her paw. "Sorry Jaypaw," she murmured with a glance at him.

"Don't go all sentimental on me," Jaypaw teased, playfully poking Icepaw in the stomach.

"Hey! Jaypaw that tickles!" Icepaw squealed, batting away his paw.

Jaypaw grinned. "It does, huh?" A glint of evil sparked in his eyes.

"Jaypaw!"

From there, what could be called a fight ensued as Icepaw attempted to escape the ever probing paws of Jaypaw. **(A/N: Not that way sicko!)** She finally managed to pin him down, but that didn't help. The medicine cat apprentice just poked in her in the stomach and Icepaw practically doubled over laughing, collapsing in a heap next to him.

Laughing, Jaypaw rolled over onto his back, and Icepaw squirmed over, pressing her snow white pelt to his dark gray one. She lay her chin on her paws and felt Jaypaw rest his head on hers. She sighed, settling herself down and breathing in his familiar scent.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in their thoughts, but suddenly Jaypaw said, "Leafpool's coming!"

Icepaw's eyes widened and she scrambled to her paws. Oh, the trouble they'd be in if Leafpool caught them!

Leafpool entered just as Jaypaw was pressing some marigold to her paw.

"It took you _that_ long to get a thorn out?" Leafpool said in disbelief. Then she paused, and her eyes widened. "It _is_ out, isn't it?"

Jaypaw and Icepaw exchanged a glance and replied, "Yes Leafpool!"

**A/N: To be honest, I LOVED this one! It's so fluffy! I might have to write another JayIce story in the future… Anyway, here's the list of all the crack pairings that I've come up with soon, including pairing names.**

**I CAME UP WITH THESE PAIRINGS. PLEASE GIVE CREDIT TO ME IF YOU USE THEM. (Unless you've seen it elsewhere…)**

FoxCinder (Foxpaw, Cinderpaw)

BreezeHoney (Breezepaw, Honepaw)

BirchLeaf (Birchpool, Leaffall)

PrincessScourge (Princess, Scourge)

RavenPrincess (Raven, Princesspaw LOL)

YellowRunning (Yellownose, Runningfang)

RainLeaf (Rainpool, Leafwhisker)

SootSquirrel (Sootflight, Squirrelfur)

BrightJay (Brightpaw, Jayheart)

SorrelBramble (Sorrelclaw, Brambletail)

CrowTawny (Crowpelt, Tawnyfeather)

FernSwift (Fernpaw, Swiftpaw)

FernDark (Fernstripe, Darkpaw)

BlueDark (Bluestripe, Darkstar)

LeafShort (Leafwhisker, Shortstar)

SharpClover (Sharptail, Cloverclaw)

FeatherHawk (Featherfrost, Hawktail)

CinderGray (Cinderstripe, Graypelt)

CloudSorrel (Cloudtail, Sorreltail)

SandGray (Sandstripe, Graystorm)

SpeckleLong (Speckletail, Longtail)

SpiderMoth (Spiderwing, Mothleg)

SpiderSorrel (Spidertail, Sorrelleg)

SpiderWhite (Spiderwing, Whiteleg)

TallMorning (Tallflower, Morningstar)

MistyRaven (Mistypaw, Ravenfoot)

FeatherBlack (Featherstar, Blacktail)

MistyBlack (Mistystar, Blackfoot)

SpiderBrook (Spider Where Small Fish Swim, Brookleg)

BrambleBrook (Bramble Where Small Fish Swim, Brookclaw)

**If you have a request, please check the list to make sure it isn't on there please**.

**Off to take over the world,**

**Crazy Girl**


	4. Stupid Apprentice: FoxCinder

**Only In Dreams **

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing guys! –cough-ONE REVIEW–cough- Oh well. I did post it at like 11:30 pm… Oh well… Here's the next one!**

**Chapter 3: Stupid Apprentice**

**FoxCinder (Foxpaw, Cinderpaw)**

"Oof!"

Cinderpaw crashed to the ground, and then darted back up, hitting Foxpaw across the face with the back of her paw. Foxpaw reared back, but went too far and crashed onto his back.

"Oh StarClan!" Cinderpaw said, running over to peer down at him. "You okay? I didn't hurt you right?"

Foxpaw opened his eyes. "That was… awesome! Can you show me how to do that?"

Cinderpaw blinked in surprise. "Uh…"

Foxpaw ignored her and sprang to his paws, turning to Cloudtail. "Did you teach her how to do that?" he demanded.

"I won't deny it," Cloudtail admitted.

Foxpaw turned to Squirrelflight. "When are you gonna teach me that?" he asked, his eyes shining.

Squirrelflight sighed. "Oh, calm down Foxpaw. Take a few deep breaths. I'll teach you eventually."

"Fine," Foxpaw grumbled, sitting down and licking his fur back into place.

"Hey Squirrelflight! Cloudtail!" Cinderpaw looked up. It was Brackenfur, calling from the other side of the training hollow with Hollypaw by his side. "Can you come over here? I wanna try a double attack on Hollypaw, but I want to watch her myself."

"Be there in a second!" Cloudtail said, and turned to Cinderpaw and Foxpaw. "You two work some more. Cinderpaw, see if you can teach Foxpaw some stuff, okay?"

"Yes Cloudtail," Cinderpaw said, not really overjoyed at the prospect of working with the younger apprentice. Her mentor gave her a look, and then followed Squirrelflight to join Brackenfur.

Foxpaw turned to Cinderpaw, his eyes shining. "What are you— " he began, but Cinderpaw cut him off.

"Look, sit down for a little," she said. "I need a break." And she did. She sat down, licking her chest fur into place and drawing her paw over one ear.

When she looked up, Foxpaw was staring at her in annoyance. "Are we gonna do anything or not?" he demanded.

"Hush up," Cinderpaw snapped. "You can't be _always_ practicing fighting moves."

"Then let's practice hunting moves!" Foxpaw suggested.

"That's not what I meant," Cinderpaw growled. "I mean, there are _other_ things to do."

"Like what?" Foxpaw demanded. He glared at her. "You're no fun. _Squirrelflight_ would teach me stuff."

Cinderpaw's eyes flared. "You want me to teach you something? Okay then. I'll show you how a _real_ warrior fights."

And, in her anger, she leapt at the young tom, easily bowling him over and pinning him down. The russet-red tom glared at her and, acting on instinct, kicked his hind paws against Cinderpaw's stomach. She was surprised. How had he known to do that?

Caught unaware, Foxpaw kicked hard, and Cinderpaw reared back, "flinching" away. "Stupid apprentice!" she hissed.

"Stupid _apprentice_?!" Foxpaw said angrily. "You're no warrior!"

"Say that to my face!" Cinderpaw snarled and barreled into him. She and Foxpaw grappled, rolling over and over, a shrieking mass of tangled fur.

Foxpaw ended up on top, his eyes flaring, He had her pinned on her stomach, leaving the back of her neck open to attack, a dangerous position to be in, but he didn't attack. Instead, he stood over her, panting with the effort of getting her into the position she was in now.

Cinderpaw twisted so that she lay on her back. "How'd you know how to do that?" she asked, amazed that the younger apprentice had defeated her so easily.

Foxpaw shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "It just kind of… came to me."

"You're really good," Cinderpaw admitted.

Foxpaw grinned. "Thanks!" he said happily. Cinderpaw rolled her eyes.

"Don't go getting a big head," she said. "That _was_ good, though."

Foxpaw's grin grew bigger.

Cinderpaw squirmed a bit. "Um… Are you gonna let me up?"

Foxpaw seemed to think to himself for a minute. "Hm… I don't know. I think I like being in control."

"Foxpaw!" Cinderpaw groaned. "Get off me!"

"Nope!" Foxpaw said, grinning insanely.

"Stupid apprentice," Cinderpaw said, narrowing her eyes. "Do you _want_ another battle?"

"Why?" Foxpaw asked, still smiling. "So I can beat you _again_?"

"You only beat me once!" Cinderpaw said. "Now come on! Let me up and we can have a rematch!"

Foxpaw contemplated it for a moment, and then he sighed. "Fine. But we _will_ have a rematch."

"Of course!" Cinderpaw said. Scrambling to her paws, she added, "Stupid apprentice. I could beat you any day."

"But you didn't," Foxpaw said, still smiling. "Face it. You _like_ losing to me."

"_What?!_" Cinderpaw hissed.

"You heard me!" Foxpaw's grin grew even wider, if possible. "You like me! You like me!"

"Stupid apprentice," Cinderpaw said, cuffing him playfully around the ears, but she didn't deny it.

**A/N: Hm… This one was okay. I think it comes in second though. I like my JayIce better. So FLUFFY! Anyway, review!**

**Off to take over the world,**

**Crazy Girl**


	5. Jealous: HoneyBreeze

**Only In Dreams**

**A/N: Here's the next one! HoneyBreeze! Oh, and I'm now adding chapter titles!**

**Chapter 5: Jealous**

**HoneyBreeze (Honeypaw, Breezepaw)**

"Have you met Berrynose?"

Breezepaw shook his head. "No… why?"

Honeypaw looked worried, almost scared. Breezepaw frowned. Why would Honeypaw be worried?

"I'm using him as a cover-up for… well, you know… us," Honeypaw said, staring at her with worry in her eyes.

"Oh." Breezepaw blinked. "Why does that matter?"

"Because I thought that if you saw me with Berrynose, or if you heard from one of the other apprentices, you would think that I liked him… well, more," Honeypaw admitted.

"Where in the name of StarClan did you get _that_ idea?" Breezepaw demanded.

"Are you telling me you wouldn't be jealous?" Honeypaw challenged.

"No," Breezepaw said. "But I wouldn't think something like that."

"Then what _would_ you do?" Honeypaw asked, raising an eyebrow. **(A/N: Yeah, I know. Cats don't have eyebrows.)**

"I would go to you and find out exactly what was going on," Breezepaw said. "I don't want there to be any miscommunications between us."

"There would never be a miscommunication," Honeypaw teased, giving him a playful shove. "Not the way you act when we meet."

"Quiet," Breezepaw said, although he could have said it quite harsher.

"Why?" Honeypaw asked. "Who's gonna be looking at us? Well, me," she amended, rubbing her head against his shoulder.

Breezepaw gave her a lick, and then turned, hearing his name being called.

"Hey Breezepaw!" Breezepaw let out a quiet hiss. It was Heatherpaw.

"Oh, hi Honeypaw," Heatherpaw said, looking disdainfully at the light brown tabby she-cat sitting next to him.

"Heatherpaw," Honeypaw replied, her voice muted and protective. Breezepaw rolled his eyes. She-cats!

"Anyway, what's going on?" Breezepaw asked Heatherpaw.

"Come with me," Heatherpaw said. "There's a couple of new warriors from ThunderClan who are talking with Harespring, and he invited you and me to talk with them."

"Newer," Honeypaw corrected. "It's only Berrynose, Hazeltail, and Mousewhisker."

Breezepaw narrowed his eyes. The idea of meeting his prospective rival wasn't appealing, but what choice did he have?

"All right," he said. "Let's go."

The three of them stood up, and Heatherpaw shot a glance at Honeypaw. "Does she _have_ to come?" she asked, sounding like a whiny little kit.

"Yes," Breezepaw said firmly. "And don't talk like she isn't there."

Heatherpaw sighed. "All right," she muttered and walked off, her tail dragging and her head low.

Breezepaw rolled his eyes and walked side-by-side with Honeypaw. "Don't listen to her," he murmured. "She's just a sore loser."

"As long as _she's_ the loser," Honeypaw said.

They finally reached a group of four cats. One of them was Harespring, and the others were obviously ThunderClan. One was a creamy colored tom, and the others were gray-and-white, one a she-cat and one a tom.

"Hey Heatherpaw, Breezepaw," Harespring said. "These are Mousewhisker," the gray tom, "Hazeltail," the she-cat, "And Berrynose." The final one was the creamy colored tom. Breezepaw narrowed his eyes. His competition was the _kittypet?_

"I'm Breezepaw," he said stiffly. Next to him, Honeypaw smirked, and all but danced over to Berrynose. She sat down close to him and twined her tail with his. Breezepaw felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and it took all of his concentration not to unsheathe his claws and attack the stupid kittypet.

He narrowed his eyes, noticing a teasing glint in Honeypaw's eyes. _She wants to play _that_ way?_ He thought. _Bring it on._

"So Berrynose…" Breezepaw said casually. "You and Honeypaw?"

Berrynose's creamy ears tinged pink. "Uh, well…"

Honeypaw interrupted. "Heatherpaw, are you and Breezepaw, well, you know…"

Heatherpaw opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by Blackstar, who was letting out a cry from the Great Oak, and all four cats turned to listen to the leaders' reports.

Later on, Breezepaw and Honeypaw were heading away from the Gathering area, toward the tree-bridge.

"That was… interesting," Breezepaw murmured.

Honeypaw snorted. "Interesting? You should've seen your face!"

Breezepaw stopped walking and turned to face Honeypaw. "Okay, I was a little jealous." Seeing her face, he added, "Okay, a lot jealous. And you weren't?"

Honeypaw shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I agree with you. Let's not do that again."

"Agreed," Breezepaw said. "Meet me tomorrow night?"

"Course!" Honeypaw gave him a lick on the cheek and then turned to run off.

She paused before she reached the tree-bridge. "Say hi to Heatherpaw for me!" she teased, and then she was gone.

**A/N: Was it okay? I like this one too, though not as much as JayIce. –obsessively re-reads my own fanfic—Oh well. Review!**

**Off to take over the world,**

**Crazy Girl**


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